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Alan: "I don't know, dad. but think I can show you through expressive dance."
As it happens, the performing arts degree (at Middlesex University) was total crap. "I was just moving furniture around in a black leotard, wondering why I never got spotted." Although he has never been in the closet as such even as a kid, it was very obvious he wasn't going to grow up to be the super ugg australia fake
spiritual son of Sean Connery and is now 30, he has never openly discussed his sexuality with his mum and dad. "When I first viewed this place with the estate agent, mum and dad came with me and when the agent said: 'And your neighbours are Ahmed and John, a very nice couple,' I was thinking: 'Oh no, she is going to say the G word' She didn't, but I was terrified." If you had a boyfriend, would you take him home? "No! Never!"
I wonder if he ugg fake uggs for sale ever looks at who he once was (the fat kid in glasses with the big, wonky teeth who "toe poked like Goldie Hawn"), looks at who he is now, an award winning comedian and TV host with his own place in north Holloway, and thinks: "Wow! One day I might even make it to Crouch End Borders!" He says that he never yearned to be famous. "I just didn't want to do a shit job, fake ugg boots trade that was the thing." His shit jobs have included working at a credit card call centre and at Tesco (Brent Cross). "Call centre work was so depressing, as was working for Tesco." Did you have a speciality at Tesco? "I was on one basket only quite a lot." Would you send people back if they had more than the stipulated number of items? Certainly not, he says. "I am not ruthless in that way." His time at Tesco did have a few highlights. "I was at Brent Cross with the TV news cameras when it went 24 hour! And ." There's more? That's not enough for you? ". and I was part of their promotion for clubcards. It sounds dead posh but actually meant standing on the forecourt in a sash and asking anyone if they wanted a clubcard. I actually approached Dale Winton when he pulled up for petrol. I said: 'Would you like a club card?' and he said: 'I've got one darling.' So I saw his life and thought maybe one day I could be like Dale."
He says that people assume that, as a comedian, he was funny from the word go, but he wasn't. "I was never the class clown. People used to laugh at me, because of the voice and everything." He's continually astonished by those who imagine being gay is a choice. "They've obviously never had their lunch boxes smashed, or have fake ugg dakota
had to run out the gates at 3.15pm so they don't get called any names. Why would anyone want to choose that?" However, despite his glaring unsuitability, his dad was determined to make a footballer of fake ugg slippers target
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